Rob’s example of how I might send my diary enteries by photographing them for him to type in.
On Wed, Jun 25, 2008 at 2:40 PM, Jim wrote:
Current status update:
Some weeks ago I began to find that on my morning walks to the shops I was having to stop and catch my breath. I assumed this was some temporary matter, or a fact of old age which I had not previously encountered, never having been this old before. Eventually the time came for a routine visit to my fiendishly cunning Chinese GP (hereinafter referred to as FCCGP). FCCGP made a rapid examination and sent me off to a mate of his. His mate turned out to be a fiendishly cunning Chinese cardiologist (hereinafter referred to as FCCC) at nearby John Fawkner Hospital. He wired me up to various machines and put me on a treadmill. About five seconds later I was under close arrest in a comfortable bed in a comfortable room. At this point, being as you know a sensitive and quick-thinking bloke, I began to wonder if something was wrong.
A ‘phone call rapidly produced the US Cavalry in the shape of my Daughter with toiletries and a few clothes from the flat. A week followed during which I spent much time hooked up to various electronic gadgets and being fed large amounts of pills. Eventually FCCC suggested to me that I could choose between having heart by-pass surgery or dying. The surgery was described as almost invariably successful and improving quality of life. This was all strictly accurate, and no untruths were stated or implied. Certain discomforts, however, were either not mentioned or played down.
The next week found me in Melbourne Private Hospital where I was rapidly and efficiently washed, shaved, angiogrammed, interrogated by various surgeons and anaesthetists, and finally operated on. I came back to consciousness (of a kind) in the Intensive Care Unit. This is real science fiction stuff - a number of small cells just big enough to hold a narrow bed and masses of electronics. The unfortunate victim is strapped into the bed, wires are plugged in to various portions of his anatomy, and mysterious machines humming, bleeping or ringing bells monitor and record his breathing, heartbeat, blood-pressure, and for all I know subversive thoughts. Various noxious substances are injected or given in the form of pills of all shapes, colours nd sizes. In case the victim should begin to feel comfortable, he is unhooked at intervals and marched up and down the room by fiendishly cruel physiotherapists (hereinafter referred to as FCPs).
A week of this is followed by a week in a ward during which the FCPs are allowed more access to the victim, who is then released to a Rehabilitation Centre. This is quite luxurious stuff - a pleasant room with ensuite bathroom, comfortable chairs, excellent food. However, I was not deceived. I had been here before, after a hip replacement, and knew that the place was swarming with FCPs of a particularly vicious kind. These work on the victim until he or she is only too glad to accept the suggestion that they should go home. Actually, the FCPs do a good job, and I parted from them on good terms. (It is always wise to keep in with such people - one could fall into their clutches again at some future time.)
On the credit side, I lost 5 Kilos. Good! However, I cannot honestly recommend this particular method of weight-loss. Take my advice and stick to cycling.
Currently back in the flat, with enough food stores to last another ten days provided by relatives. Feel weak as a kitten, but expect to do my next shop on my own. Full recovery said to take a couple of months, but I expect to be increasingly mobile during that period - if not, the whole business has been a waste of time!
Cheers!
On Monday October 6th 2008 at 9.00 AM, Jim wrote:
Headline from the Electronic Telegraph, London. 6 October 2008:
‘One in five children think their parents have taken drugs’.
This significant result of a recent survey highlights a problem which has been causing increasing concern. Closer supervision of parents by their children has long been advocated and discussed. Modern permissiveness has resulted in a situation where many children are unaware of where their parents are at night, who their associates are, and what kind of social activities they are frequenting. They often do not realise that increasingly bizarre behaviour on the part of their parents is evidence of drug-taking rather than a normal and temporary mid-life crisis. Much closer supervision is required, and this should include, if thought necessary, searches of parent’s rooms for drugs and their confiscation if found. If clear evidence of habitual drug-taking emerges, children should be aware of the social services available and should report their parents so that necessary counselling and rehabilitation treatment can be undertaken.
It’s a wonderful world. Cheers!
Jim Herlihy
